daily walk Posts

“Who is the LORD that I should obey Him?”

The question Pharaoh asked Moses is the modern question of our day. As we read the Old Testament, we often think that these people are primitive, uneducated, even barbaric. We have a general idea that we are progressively getting smarter and better. We have better medicine, technology, faster transportation; we’re enlightened, educated, modern. But at the heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.

The Pharaoh was a highly educated, affluent man. He is the modern man and his question is the question of our day. The entire story of the plagues, and the Exodus, hinges on his question: “Who is the LORD and why should I obey Him?” Exodus 5:2 Our entire story hinges on this question as well. The Pharaoh was not an atheist, but a polytheist. He had no trouble believing in gods, as long as they served him. But to believe in a god that would actually tell him what to do was preposterous. Not unlike most of us today.

Some struggle with God, thinking He is too harsh, judgmental and wrathful. Instead, we fail to see that in His mercy He rescues you from our gods, that will otherwise crush us. It is His mercy, not His wrath that saves us. In His wrath is His mercy. His judgement is mercy. “O LORD, I have heard the report of you, and your work, O LORD, do I fear. In the midst of the years revive it; in the midst of the years make it known; in wrath remember mercy.” Habakkuk 3:2

God’s judgment comes upon those who disregard Him. But even in His warnings of judgment there is mercy. Like the Pharaoh, we need a renewed vision of who God is.

By His grace, through warnings and judgment, God lovingly draws us to Himself. Every plague has a corresponding Egyptian god and what the LORD (Yahweh) is doing is answering Pharaoh’s question with each subsequent plague: “Who is LORD? I am the one, true God and I am greater than your false gods. I will crush them for your good and for my glory.”

Consider: what are the gods we serve in our day? And what corresponding plagues might God bring into our lives so that we would turn to Him and worship Him alone? What plagues might God unleash on us in order to show His supremacy, His place as the LORD, so that He might satisfy our soul’s desire? Just a few examples:

Our gods and the plagues that confront us

Comfort – the plague of inconvenience God will bring discomfort, perhaps Illness, relational struggles that confront us. Like gnats or flies, they may seem small at first, but they destroy our peace and comfort. All of this, so we will turn to Him and find that He alone is our Comfort and Peace.

Control – the plague of chaos The god of control says, “I will control how I live, how I look, how my life goes. I will cover every possible contingency, I will prepare, build an impenetrable wall around me. I will build an emotional wall around me. I will not let anyone in. I will control my environment.” In his famous poem, Invictus, William Henley (an atheist), writes (from a hospital bed), these last two stanzas: “Beyond this place of wrath and tears. Looms but the Horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find me, unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” Henley echoes the Pharaoh’s question: “Who is the LORD, that I should obey Him?” Instead, our desire to control our lives results in impotence, disorganization, mismanagement, addictions. It’s why all alcoholics know that the first of the 12 steps to recovery is, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” We must admit that you are NOT in control.

Success – the plague of dissatisfaction Success is never up and to the right always. And even if it is, we are left empty if success has become our functional god. This week, Tom Brady will start in his eighth Super Bowl. He’s won five. Surely, he is the GOAT, the greatest of all time. Brady is handsome, married to a model wife, and worth millions (billions?) of dollars. In a moment of rare vulnerability, on 60 Minutes, in an interview with Steve Kroft, Brady said, “This is what it is- this guy (himself) has it all. But I think, “there has to be more than this.” Kroft asked, “What’s the answer?” Brady responded, “I wish I knew, I wish I knew.” At the pinnacle of success he is plagued with dissatisfaction.

Approval – the plague of rejection Our desire for approval is met with the plague of disapproval, even self-condemnation. For the person who worships the god of approval, rejection is devastating. In a world of social media, the need for approval escalates to devastating results.

How can we discern our idols? Your deepest emotions will point you to your idols, to the gods you worship. Look at your anger, anxiety; what do you think about that makes you worry? What makes you really sad? Most often our anxiety is caused by the thought of losing something we love, something we worship- a god.

But what if God, by His mercy, is drawing us to Him? Paul asks: What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath- prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory.” Romans 9:22-23

At the cross, God’s unending grace and His inflexible holiness collided and our salvation was made possible. On the Cross He brought mercy for sinners and judgment on sin that came upon Jesus. You and I were spared the ultimate plague of sin’s shame and death.

We find purpose and ultimate satisfaction in GOD alone, through Christ alone. The process that comes as God strips us of our idols is painful. But He does this so that you will turn to Him and rejoice in His presence and praise Him as you discover that He is enough.

 “For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21

In His wrath, He has remembered mercy.

A New Year Revolution: One Thing

So it’s a time for new year’s resolutions, yet studies reveal four out of five of us will not stick to them and a third of us will not get out of January without breaking them. Why can we not stay true to desired changes we long to see in our lives? It’s because a resolution is an intention, a decision to do or not do something. Let’s admit it. We clearly don’t have the power within us to do what we desire to do. Something is working against us. What we need is a revolution.

“Revolution”- from the Latin, revolutio, which means, “a turnaround”- a revolution is “a fundamental change in power or organizational structures that takes place over a relatively short period of time”.

A revolution is an uprising, a mutiny, or insurrection. In spiritual terms a revolution is transformation; it’s a conversion. As you enter into 2018, you need a personal revolution. You need to revolt against all that is not allowing you to flourish, all is keeping you from pursuing God with all your heart. To revolt is to renounce allegiance, to rebel against an authority. Many of us need that attitude in our spiritual lives. In a general sense, we know that putting first things first helps put everything else in it’s place. Most of us know that prioritizing our lives is important, particularly if we want to live balanced lives. But Jesus never talked balance. Jesus talked about an all-out pursuit of one thing. He said: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 If you don’t have one thing that you’re all about, you will be distracted by a million other things. And what constantly distracts you will eventually define you. You must realize the power of a singular focus in your life. The apostle Paul understood this concept, and if you do, it will revolutionize your life.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14

A New Year Revolution

1. A holy discontent (v. 12) “not that I have already obtained all this.” You must have a desire for more, a desire to change, and not stay where you are. This is the first and most critical piece of the equation. Many of will not move beyond this first point, because you do not have a holy discontent. Are you satisfied with where you are? Is your singular passion an all-out pursuit of Jesus? And if not, are you okay with that? This is why you don’t have a holy discontent- you need to rediscover who God is and His amazing grace toward you in Christ! I hope I never get over being saved. Have you lost the awe and wonder of being rescued by God? Is your entire life a response to that? We should all be longing for more of Him. No one would trade a bottle of water for gold if they were dying of thirst in the desert. Are you dying of thirst, for more of Jesus? Brethren theologian, J.N. Darby wrote, “necessity finds Him out.” He noted that apart from need, we don’t pursue anything in life. Do you truly sense a need to know more of Jesus? To be drawn closer to Him? Do you have a deep discontent, a dissatisfaction, a restless desire for more of Him? That’s a good thing.

2. A singular focus (v. 13) “one thing I do”. In vs. 8 he stated, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord”. What we need is what Thomas Chalmers, the Scottish minister, called, “the explosive power of a new affection.” Our problem is what Augustine called, “love out of order”, disordered love, misplaced affections. Disordered love is when good things become God things. Misplaced affections need to be replaced by the far greater power of the affection for God, in Christ- for the Gospel- what Christ has already done for us. What you need is a greater satisfaction in Him and the explosive power of a new affection. Chalmers wrote:

“The love of God and the love of the world, are two affections, not merely in a state of rivalship, but in a state of enmity and that irreconcilable, that they cannot dwell together in the same bosom. The heart is not so constituted (made up like that); and the only way to dispossess it of an old affection, is by the expulsive power of a new one.”

Chalmers is speaking of the importance of having one, singular focus. The disciplined pursuit of less, and an all-out chase of Jesus, one magnificent obsession: Jesus Christ. The problem for many of us is not that you don’t have plenty of good things to do, you need to focus on the best thing.

What does this look like? Simply put, it looks like saying NO, and it looks like saying, YES. First saying “no” to lesser things. Some of you the story of Nehemiah. Broken over the state of God’s people during the exile, he went to rebuild the walls around the city of Jerusalem. And to call the people back to God. His rivals, Sandballot, Tobiah, and Gesham, sent for him (seeking to kill him). They wanted him to “come down from your work and meet with us.” And I sent messengers to them, saying, “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?” Nehemiah 6:3 Nehemiah had a job to do. He was obsessed with one thing. See, the power of a new affection, means that you can say NO to other things, even good things.

If you do not prioritize your life someone else will. As a pastor, this has been my greatest challenge though the years. I am constantly asked to do good things; not always easy things, but good things. So if I am to do what I’ve been called and gifted to do, I must say NO to good things, which means saying no to good people, people I love, and people I want to help. But here’s what I’ve learned: I will never accomplish God’s greatest plans for me, if I do not say no to lesser things. Some of us need to determine that we will NOT come down. Greg McKeown, in his book, Essentialism, writes:

You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.” Greg McKeown, Essentialism You may think, “No, everything matters!” If everything matters, then nothing matters. And McKeown’s statement is only true if you have a singular priority, ONE magnificent obsession.

Many of us need to follow Nehemiah’s example: “I’m doing a good work; I will not come down.” Remember this, say it often! Prioritizing your life is not as much, “What do I need to give up?” but “What do I need to go BIG on?” What is my focus? What is that for you? As you think about the great things that God has called you to in these days- what are you up on your ladder doing? Parents: “I’m doing a good work, I will not come down.” Dads: “I’m going to spend more time with my family. I will not come down.” Or perhaps, “I need to care for an elderly parent or friend in this season. I will not come down.” “I need to spend every morning in prayer. I will not come down.” For many of us: “I need to finish something. I will not come down.” “I need to finish my degree, I need to finish this job, finish my commitment. I need to pay off this debt. “I will not come down!” “I need to stay the course in my marriage. I will not quit. I will not come down. “I’ll continue to disciple this person or group.” What is for you? What do you need to finish in this season of your life, in the year ahead? What are you doing on your ladder? If it is God’s call on your life, do not come down.

3. A dedicated plan (vs. 13) – Paul’s one thing involved two things- because you cannot move into a preferred future without leaving the past behind. You can’t say, “I want things to be different in the future, but I’m not going to change anything in the present.” No, you must leave behind whatever doesn’t help you get to your goal. What was Paul’s goal? His ultimate goal was Christ Himself. In order to pursue Christ with all we have, we must rid ourselves of all that is not Him. Following Christ includes repentance and pursuit. Simply put, in a general sense, we must love God and hate sin. Reject your past and embrace the new.

O you who love the LORD, hate evil! He preserves the lives of His saints; He delivers them from the hand of the wicked. Psalm 97:10

The most common resolutions include: stop eating so much, drinking less, spending less money, exercising more, sleeping more, and volunteering. For the Christ follower, resolutions should include naming SIN in our lives. Martin Luther noted, the entire Christian life is one of repentance. Confess sin and repent. Determine to be more like Jesus- be more loving, forgiving, less judgmental, stop gossiping, quit thinking the world revolves around you, and be more generous. Name a sinful habit. But first you need to stop focusing on your sin, and focus on the one thing- the One Person- who can actually deliver you from that sin. A new year revolution involves overcoming sin in your life.

But here’s what happens. We approach sin by thinking: “I need to work harder to overcome this sin! I will pray more. I will even be accountable. I will tell others about my sin and desire to overcome it. I will read books on it, and I’ll find verses in the Bible to help me. I’ll even memorize Scripture so I can quote it when I’m tempted.” Okay, so just work harder and seek to get better. How’s that working out for you? How’s that going? You must learn this: Moralism says that we can become better people by keeping rules and striving to be good people. But Scripture rejects this idea. Instead, the Bible reveals that character development happens only in the context of freedom. Change comes not from striving in our own strength to be like Jesus, but by developing a habit of being with Jesus, abiding in Him.

Moralism calls for change from the outside-in through cosmetic, behavior modification and sin management. Grace produces change from the inside-out as our hearts are renewed and motivations are transformed. Change happens only as our motivations and desires change. Only the Spirit can do that. I don’t know exactly what this looks like for you but I know where it begins for all of us. I know exactly what this looks like on a daily basis. The picture is found in Luke 10:38-42 where we see Martha “distracted” (by good things, by the way), “much serving”. Jesus said to her, “you’re anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Time with Jesus reaps temporary and eternal reward. In 2018 goal-setting and resolutions starts with TIME WITH JESUS.

ONE THING will set everything else in your life in its place. Set your heart on knowing Christ, pursuing Him, and serving Him above all else. This is the essence of the Christian life.

As you decide to pursue Christ above all else, then I challenge you to bring your focus down to one word for the year. Pray, think on it, and then write it down. Share it with a friend or family member. Let it guide you daily as you seek to live out this new year revolution.

On the Monday after Easter

it_is_finished-1Easter reminds us that we are part of a much larger story. And the Monday after Easter reminds us that it is still finished. For a pastor, the day after Easter is always a kind of let down. We work hard through the Easter season and we put a lot into the weekend. The Monday after Easter is real life. It’s where the reality of the resurrection is meant to be lived out, in the every day stuff of life. This is where we prove that we have joined the redemptive story of God.

Surely history is His story. The cross and the resurrection of Jesus is the epicenter of all history. He is the singular figure who split history into B.C. and A.D. and through the lens of Easter Sunday, everything makes sense. And without it, nothing makes sense.

But the day after Easter is a good day to ask: Is His story my story? Has the story of the cross and resurrection become your story? The way this happens is the same way it has always has: The cross precedes resurrection. Brokenness precedes blessedness. Death precedes life.

“When Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, ‘It is finished,’ and He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.” John 19:30 This final cry of Jesus is three words in English but it is one word in Greek: τετέλεσται. It means to bring to perfect completion, finished, accomplished, even paid in full. This is arguably the greatest word ever spoken. Notice, He doesn’t say, “I am finished”, which would be a cry of defeat; but, “It is finished”, which is a cry of victory.

What did He finish? Has it become your story?

  • He finished the perfect life. In the garden the night before His crucifixion:

“I glorified you on earth, having finished the work that you gave me to do.” John 17:4 He’s referring to His perfect life- lived as a substitute for us. Just as central to your salvation as the cross, is the fact that Jesus lived the perfect life for you.

  • He finished the payment for our sin. He paid the price. The word tetelestai was written over a debt, meaning “paid in full”.

“He is the propitiation (atoning sacrifice, payment) for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.” 1 John 2:2. God forgives you only because Jesus has paid the price for your sin.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23 And because He finished the wage (payment) for your sin…

  • He finished the punishment for sin. God will never be angry with you again.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1 He finished the just punishment that was due us. People say, “Well, God loves us so He forgives us.” No, He does not forgive us simply because He loves us. God forgives sin only because Christ took on the wrath of God toward sin. God is loving yes, and His love is just. His justice is loving.

  • He finished the need for religion. Many people are surprised by this.

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” Matthew 5:17 Jesus fulfilled all of the crushing demands of God’s holiness, through His sinless life. Many of us are trying to finish something that has already been completed. In Matthew 27:51 it says that right after Jesus cried out “Tetelestai”, the giant veil in the Temple- that separated the Holy of Holies (the presence of God) from the rest of the Temple- was torn in two. The barrier between us and God (the religion of man and a Holy God) was torn apart. And it says, from the from top to bottom. It was from heaven down. Not man to God, but God to man, opening up the Way, destroying all of our religious self-salvation projects.

“For God has done what the law, (religion) weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh.” Romans 8:3 People say Christianity is not about religion, but a relationship. This is not the full truth. Everyone has a relationship with God already. You are either a condemned sinner before a Holy God or you are an adopted son or daughter before your Loving Father. It’s one or the other. Religion says you must do certain things for God to seek His approval. But in Christ it is done.

  • He finished the pathway to eternal life.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

So that’s it. Has IT become your story? Is His story your story? He finished all that is necessary for us to experience LIFE. But like every great story, there’s a twist:

It is – This cry is in the present perfect tense which describes an action that was fully completed in the past and its effects are being felt in the present. Jesus could have used the aorist tense and simply said, “the work is done”. The resurrection means that it is present tense. His story continues as we receive what He’s done for us. His resurrection becomes ours- it is the turning point of history and it is the turning point of your life, when His story becomes your story. Is His story your story?

It – all that’s necessary for salvation… is – present tense, nowfinished.

The big story of God’s redemption has now shifted. In the Old Testament priests were not allowed to sit when they were on duty, symbolic of the fact that their work was never finished. This is the religious life. You’re never finished.

But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God.” Hebrews 10:12 The Priest became the Lamb. The High Priest sacrificed Himself, and then He sat down. And through the lens of Easter Sunday, everything makes sense. This is present tense.

Is His story your story?

His story becomes your story WHEN you surrender your life to Him and receive His finished work on your behalf. The Cross precedes Resurrection. Death precedes life. You must surrender your life to Him. You must give up trying to finish it.

  • You cannot add to it.

When you discover that Jesus has finished what matters most you realize that all that matters is finished. Your unending need for love is finished. Your need for purpose is finished. Your need for assurance is finished. Your need for forgiveness is finished. Your constant need for more is finished in Him- more money, more worth, more power, more affirmation, more applause, more happiness- all is finished. More will never be enough until you find that Jesus has finished everything for you.

  • You can rest in it.

If you could summarize Christianity in one word, it would be tetelestai. Only in Christ do you find rest, because only in HIM is it finished. 

When Buddha died, his last words were, “Strive without ceasing… never stop striving.” But the last words of Jesus are, “STOP striving; I have done all the striving necessary.”

Religion says, “finish the work”, but the Gospel says, “Receive the finished work.” Rest in Him. But His story is not finished until it is finished in you. Luke 9:23, Jesus says, “If anyone will come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.” This is the story we find ourselves in. Is His story your story?

Is His story your story? His story becomes your story when you surrender your life to Him and receive His finished work on your behalf.

IT. IS. FINISHED.

The Key (and almost always overlooked) Ingredient to New Year’s Resolutions

new-years-resolution-statistics

45% of all Americans usually make New Year’s resolutions, while only 8% actually achieve them. The more troubling number is the 55% who make no resolutions at all. Goal-setting is the beginning of a pathway to growth, improvement in certain areas of your life, and the accomplishment of greater things in the coming year. If you have not set goals for the coming year, let me help you begin by focusing on what matters most.

If you are a Christian, you are called to follow Jesus every day, always motivated by the Gospel – that is, what He has already accomplished for you. This is critical:

The most important goals that you could ever set or achieve for yourself, have already been achieved for you, by Christ Himself.

Jesus lived the perfect life on your behalf, suffered the punishment for all of your sins, and He died your death on the cross. He rose again from the grave to conquer death and hell, so that you could live the resurrected life now, and into eternity. So, the key question you face as you set your eyes on the coming year is this:

Now that Christ has already done everything necessary for your salvation, what will you do?

This question sets up all the hopes, dreams, and goals for your life in the coming year. If all that really matters has already been accomplished, you can now live without fear of failure or a need to gain the approval of others. It means that all you need to do is worship Him daily and follow Him as His Spirit leads you, one day at a time. You are now free to love others without any need for love in return, because all the love you need you have already found in Him. So, as you set more specific goals in the freedom and rest of the Gospel, begin with these key truths:

  • As you pray for blessing, remember that Jesus Himself is the Blessing.
  • As you pray for guidance, remember that Jesus Himself is your Guide.
  • As you pray for rest, remember that Jesus Himself is your Rest.
  • As you pray for joy, remember that Jesus Himself is your Joy.
  • As you pray for success, remember that Jesus Himself is your Success.
  • As you pray for direction, remember that Jesus Himself is the Way.
  • As you pray for truth, remember that Jesus Himself is the Truth.
  • As you pray for life, remember that Jesus Himself is Life.

Now, set specific goals for the coming year in light of these life-changing truths.

“… Christ is all, and in all.” Colossians 3:11

Fixer Upper

What do you do when you’re in the right location but you’ve got the wrong design? You’ve got to fix it up! On their wildly popular show, Chip and Joanna Gaines walk us through the process of transforming dilapidated, but potential-rich houses into showcases. This is an apt analogy for those of us who know we’re in the right family (by God’s sovereign design) but stand in need of help. Every family needs to be fixed up.

In Ephesians 5:21-6:4, God’s Word gives us principles to help us see how this happens.

In the end, here’s the radical truth that will change your family:

 To fix your family up, you need power down.  

Throughout this passage we see the word “submit” and the little word “as”, referring to Christ and His submission to the Father and His love for us over and over. Submission to one another in the family is what makes it work. We are to be “as” Christ in our relationships. In order to stay the course, and not bail when a remodel or redesign is necessary, we need exactly what God teaches us in Ephesians 5. A family that has “staying power” is a family that follows these biblical principles. Our culture continues to debate, define, and re-define the family. We’ve been asking the wrong questions: How can my relationships make me happier? How can my spouse fulfill my needs? How can my children make me happy? How can marriage be more fulfilling for me? What’s in it for me? God shows us a very different perspective on the family because:

God’s purpose for the family is not to satisfy us, but to sanctify us.
“Sanctify” is a word that means, to make holy, to set apart, to be made righteous. God’s original blueprint for us is to be created in His image and display His glory in all we do. We busted that plan up early on. Through God’s rescuing grace, we are brought back to His original design, sanctified. The process of sanctification then, is not becoming something I’m not, but becoming who already am in Him. My identity is secured. I am His “beloved”. The family serves as God’s subcontractors to create the environment within which this process takes place. We need families who will stay the course.

Staying Power

1. Stay submissive to Jesus Christ. (5:1-2) All of Ephesians up to this point is about God’s rescuing grace. The Gospel indicatives always lead to the Gospel imperatives. Paul moves to how we respond to God’s one-way love for us in Christ. Paul says, because you’ve been rescued from your sin, now submit to Christ.

2. Stay submissive to one another. (5:21) What does submission to Christ look like in the family? At the beginning of this entire passage on the family, he says we submit to one another out of reference to Christ. What does it mean to submit to another person? It means I will leverage my assets, my strength, my power, and my time for your benefit. This is Gospel reenactment in the family. It’s all I am for all that you need. Do you want to fix up your family? Power down. Submit to others, serve, and help one another. The radical, guiding question in the home becomes: How can I help? How can I serve you?

3. Stay committed to your marriage first. (vv. 22-33) The key to raising happy, healthy children is to give more time and attention to your marriage than you do to your children. Don’t forget that later is longer. You will be married long after your kids are gone and the days you have with your adult children will be long through the years. Stay the course and keep your marriage first in the child-rearing days. Keep dating. Get away. Keep growing.

4. Stay clear about the family structure. (v. 22-25, 6:1-4) Understand the family structure and communicate it clearly to the entire family. If the key to a great family is mutual submission, then is anyone in charge? This is where it becomes counter-intuitive. Jesus is the Head of the Church and He gave His life for everyone in it. He came to serve, not to be served and He ultimately gave His life away. He was Servant Number One. Husbands are to serve their wives and children in the same way. We feel if we give up power we’ll lose everything but Jesus, who is the Head of Church, is precisely so because He gave His power. He gave His life away. To fix up, we need to power down. Here we see that God’s family flow chart shows us that the husband is the head of the wife (practicing mutual submission in their varied roles) and the parents are over their children. The simple role of the children is clear: obey. Instead, in many American families, children have taken over. We’ve put kids in the corner office. They’re driving the family bus and calling the shots.

Edward VIII, Duke of Windsor, once observed this about American families: “The thing that impresses me about American families is the way the parents obey their kids.”

Put your kids first and you can be assured that they will become manipulative, demanding, and unappreciative of everything you do for them. You will guarantee that they’ll grow up believing it is unfair to expect them to do anything and it will further guarantee your child’s unhappiness because happiness is only achieved by accepting responsibility for one’s self, not by believing that someone else is responsible for you. See the health of the family as a unit and it all starts with the health of the marriage. The parents are benevolent dictators. We need are more parent-centered families and fewer child-centered families.

5. Stay close to your children. (6:1-4) Being parent-centered doesn’t mean you don’t spend time with your children. You must stay in close to your kids. Know their friends names, the music they like, their favorite shows, clothes, and sports. Stay near to their hearts. Let dinnertime become a time to catch up and find out where their hearts are. Sit down with your child, do homework together, play together, and pray together at bedtime. You must stay in relationship with them. The old adage is so true: Rules without relationship breed rebellion. Remember to keep the end in sight: emancipation. You’re raising them to leave. And in parenting the days are long but the years are short. Keep in the end in sight.

6. Stay centered in God’s family. Make the church your family’s epicenter. Let the church help you raise your kids. Single parents, and parents who may feel you are, you’re not alone. Just as God has been very clear about our families, He’s also been very clear about His own big family, the Church.

“How great is the love of the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

God invites you into His family. There’s no perfect family, but there is a perfect Father. Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in a family.” What does this submission to Christ, submission to one another look like in the home? I think it was Andy Stanley who brought this whole idea of submission down to a single question. I’ve discovered it can change everything:

How can I help?

And as you seek to serve others well, don’t forget this: no horizontal relationship in your life will ever satisfy. And as you seek to be sanctified, remember in Christ you have been made righteous already. You’ve been holied.

And because of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption.” 1 Corinthians 1:30

Sanctification is not becoming something you’re not, but something you already are. It’s living out the new identity you now have in Christ. Rest in Him. You’re already loved perfectly and have nothing to prove. And because you now have all the love you’ll ever need in Him, you can love others without any need for love in return. I can power down and love like Jesus.

“For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.” Hebrews 10:14

 To fix your family up, you need power down.